Ridiculous Vogue

No, it doesn’t. Not at all. It really nice, actually because you’re able to wear halter necks and support society’s stereotypes of a typical woman woman, which is really nice. No, but really.

Anyways, I’ve decided to post about breasts today (sorry to my male readers who cannot relate - or can you?) because it is an issue that concerns me and many/most female.

So I heard most American women are wearing the wrong bra size. Heck, I am not American, but I might be moving there one day so I thought to myself “Hmm.. Better not be one of them!”

I googled and found Vogue Australia’s forum about bra fitting and all. Sounds pretty interesting. The people who went and got their deeds done advised to go to those David Jones and Myer stores to get those old women to do them. I thought “Hmm… they are old women. Which means they are women, first of all, which means they have breasts. Since they are old they must have a lot of WISDOM. They probably have a lot of breasts wisdom.”

So fair enough, I decided on David Jones because I’ve heard some rather nasty things about some Myer boutiques and none from DJ (for those of you who don’t know, Myer and David Jones are two large Australian department stores with elite products yet are located in the typical Westfields “malls”).

Well some heads ups if you’re going to the DAVID JONES Paramatta stores to get fitted:

• Bring (a) friend(s)
• Don’t bring your mum, unless she’s very patient and cool.
• Don’t approach the woman with a question “Umm.. Do you do bra fitting? Today? Need I make an appointment?” Well, I knew well enough you didn’t need any sort of appointment to get it going, but I was vainly attempting to ask her for a bra fitting yet not have to cut the question. She replied with “if it’s for you, you’re a tiny titter so of course we can do it now!”. Both her and the woman behind giggled =_=
• Which brings me to my next point, don’t make yourself vulnerable to laughs and smirks with women in the area similar age to the fitter. >_>

Okay, so I was under the impression they’d get a measuring tape out and calculate my bra size. The only thing they did was tried on a few bra, and forced a sale or two. Luckily, I was a B-C (what the hell is the point of a bra fitting when you’re not even sure?!) yet my band size is extremely small. Like the other end of the hook, I’m actually leaning over, falling off the hook. This is lucky because they didn’t have an Australian 8B or 8C bra, I excused myself after half an hour of pointless fitting.

The moral of the story, always bring a friend so you guys can help each other out of the pressure!

Remember those movies you see with your mom with the big 80’s hair and whatnot? You thought “GEES, dude - what were they thinking?”

Well, it seem like fashion is such a large circle afterall. We went from disco floor glamor to classy black and now we’re back with the colors!

We may no longer have those disco lights (replaced by laser-like beams) but we do have sequins which is very 80’s - and it looks like they’re back with a bang!

Why is it that they work? They combine fashion’s recent favorite - badass rock chick - and old school glamor, hippy sequin.

But do we very careful - as with most things, you should combine and contrast - in other words, do not walk down the street disguised as a Christmas tree! Because they are fairly drastic items, they should be teamed with some plain Jane’s. A shiny singlet with plain or soft colored jeans.

Or maybe add a touch of bling to an accessory. A cute little clutch or sequin shoes. What about those sequin earrings?

Isn’t this just totally cute?

Highlights

W-O-W:

L-O-L

Okay, my apologies for slacking off - not updating this blog since forever, when I told myself I must; yes, yes, “I’ve been busy” is hardly a plausible excuse, it’s kinda like saying “Traffic”. Well, cutting something very short; I’ve been caught up in this huge ass assignment that’s a huge deal so there you go

So back to fashion (coz that’s the most important thing, right? :D:D) - I believe I’m high at the moment with colors. It’s like I’ve seen and been in every bit of that fricken rainbow, and got it in my entirety, soaking my brain with no other ideas that doesn’t involve colors. Seriously!

So you’ve seen my rant of colored skinnies - now I’m onto it again! Slightly inspired from Jordon from Australia’s Next Top Model (saw this a year ago) - she was wearing these purple stockings. I can’t find a picture of her wearing them, though

Why and how this benefits me (and possibly you!): I inherit many physical traits from my father; the package includes my huge ass legs. They are toned, granted, but not very lean as one would wish. This makes me conscious; and over the years, I’ve learnt to, instead of hiding my legs, flaunt them. This surprises you, doesn’t it? You ask why the hell would I want to flaunt my worst feature to the world. Well, legs are sexy, and the majority of clothing that are hot involves leg baring (reasonable amount, that is) and it really sucks that I am restrained from these styles coz I’m trying (in vain) to hide my legs. Therefore, I employ evil tactics to mislead men and women alike to thinking I have these wonderfully lean legs.

One way is I wear skinny jeans, my legs aren’t huge — just too manly, therefore skinny tubes squeeze my muscles into the right proportion - then it emphasise my toned buttocks, and bam! Lean legs, nice ass — can he just stop staring?! Gees!

Another way of giving this effect, when it’s hot and I’m not wearing jeans — I wear stockings with short skirts or shorts. They pull the eye away from my legs (well, not really, but still) and onto the top and mid-section as well i.e. the entire picture. Another good thing about this is that I can get away with wearing those skimpy short shorts or short minis without looking like a complete whore. Double trouble

Colors that I dig –

I would say to stay away from anything but colors, as color stockings aren’t the most conventional things in the world; and lets try keeping it simple, shall we? Two fashion outrage in one outfit: T-O-O M-U-C-H.

Besides, dont they really look like they belong on the legs of those women who tends to wear the entire vintage store on their body?

Want the edge, the real danger? How about knee or thigh high, if you dare!