Ridiculous Vogue

No, it doesn’t. Not at all. It really nice, actually because you’re able to wear halter necks and support society’s stereotypes of a typical woman woman, which is really nice. No, but really.

Anyways, I’ve decided to post about breasts today (sorry to my male readers who cannot relate - or can you?) because it is an issue that concerns me and many/most female.

So I heard most American women are wearing the wrong bra size. Heck, I am not American, but I might be moving there one day so I thought to myself “Hmm.. Better not be one of them!”

I googled and found Vogue Australia’s forum about bra fitting and all. Sounds pretty interesting. The people who went and got their deeds done advised to go to those David Jones and Myer stores to get those old women to do them. I thought “Hmm… they are old women. Which means they are women, first of all, which means they have breasts. Since they are old they must have a lot of WISDOM. They probably have a lot of breasts wisdom.”

So fair enough, I decided on David Jones because I’ve heard some rather nasty things about some Myer boutiques and none from DJ (for those of you who don’t know, Myer and David Jones are two large Australian department stores with elite products yet are located in the typical Westfields “malls”).

Well some heads ups if you’re going to the DAVID JONES Paramatta stores to get fitted:

• Bring (a) friend(s)
• Don’t bring your mum, unless she’s very patient and cool.
• Don’t approach the woman with a question “Umm.. Do you do bra fitting? Today? Need I make an appointment?” Well, I knew well enough you didn’t need any sort of appointment to get it going, but I was vainly attempting to ask her for a bra fitting yet not have to cut the question. She replied with “if it’s for you, you’re a tiny titter so of course we can do it now!”. Both her and the woman behind giggled =_=
• Which brings me to my next point, don’t make yourself vulnerable to laughs and smirks with women in the area similar age to the fitter. >_>

Okay, so I was under the impression they’d get a measuring tape out and calculate my bra size. The only thing they did was tried on a few bra, and forced a sale or two. Luckily, I was a B-C (what the hell is the point of a bra fitting when you’re not even sure?!) yet my band size is extremely small. Like the other end of the hook, I’m actually leaning over, falling off the hook. This is lucky because they didn’t have an Australian 8B or 8C bra, I excused myself after half an hour of pointless fitting.

The moral of the story, always bring a friend so you guys can help each other out of the pressure!

Remember those movies you see with your mom with the big 80’s hair and whatnot? You thought “GEES, dude - what were they thinking?”

Well, it seem like fashion is such a large circle afterall. We went from disco floor glamor to classy black and now we’re back with the colors!

We may no longer have those disco lights (replaced by laser-like beams) but we do have sequins which is very 80’s - and it looks like they’re back with a bang!

Why is it that they work? They combine fashion’s recent favorite - badass rock chick - and old school glamor, hippy sequin.

But do we very careful - as with most things, you should combine and contrast - in other words, do not walk down the street disguised as a Christmas tree! Because they are fairly drastic items, they should be teamed with some plain Jane’s. A shiny singlet with plain or soft colored jeans.

Or maybe add a touch of bling to an accessory. A cute little clutch or sequin shoes. What about those sequin earrings?

Isn’t this just totally cute?

Highlights

W-O-W:

L-O-L

Okay, my apologies for slacking off - not updating this blog since forever, when I told myself I must; yes, yes, “I’ve been busy” is hardly a plausible excuse, it’s kinda like saying “Traffic”. Well, cutting something very short; I’ve been caught up in this huge ass assignment that’s a huge deal so there you go

So back to fashion (coz that’s the most important thing, right? :D:D) - I believe I’m high at the moment with colors. It’s like I’ve seen and been in every bit of that fricken rainbow, and got it in my entirety, soaking my brain with no other ideas that doesn’t involve colors. Seriously!

So you’ve seen my rant of colored skinnies - now I’m onto it again! Slightly inspired from Jordon from Australia’s Next Top Model (saw this a year ago) - she was wearing these purple stockings. I can’t find a picture of her wearing them, though

Why and how this benefits me (and possibly you!): I inherit many physical traits from my father; the package includes my huge ass legs. They are toned, granted, but not very lean as one would wish. This makes me conscious; and over the years, I’ve learnt to, instead of hiding my legs, flaunt them. This surprises you, doesn’t it? You ask why the hell would I want to flaunt my worst feature to the world. Well, legs are sexy, and the majority of clothing that are hot involves leg baring (reasonable amount, that is) and it really sucks that I am restrained from these styles coz I’m trying (in vain) to hide my legs. Therefore, I employ evil tactics to mislead men and women alike to thinking I have these wonderfully lean legs.

One way is I wear skinny jeans, my legs aren’t huge — just too manly, therefore skinny tubes squeeze my muscles into the right proportion - then it emphasise my toned buttocks, and bam! Lean legs, nice ass — can he just stop staring?! Gees!

Another way of giving this effect, when it’s hot and I’m not wearing jeans — I wear stockings with short skirts or shorts. They pull the eye away from my legs (well, not really, but still) and onto the top and mid-section as well i.e. the entire picture. Another good thing about this is that I can get away with wearing those skimpy short shorts or short minis without looking like a complete whore. Double trouble

Colors that I dig –

I would say to stay away from anything but colors, as color stockings aren’t the most conventional things in the world; and lets try keeping it simple, shall we? Two fashion outrage in one outfit: T-O-O M-U-C-H.

Besides, dont they really look like they belong on the legs of those women who tends to wear the entire vintage store on their body?

Want the edge, the real danger? How about knee or thigh high, if you dare!

Oh God! I was flipping through Vogue magazine and this in-mag adbook thing just fell out so I was flipping through that when I was saw this HOT HOT HOT pair of jeans that were just like orgasm-worthy! No jokes. They were light yet dark pink and oh so perfect! Regrettably, I have NO IDEA where that minibooklet thing is now! That’s very typical of me, losing the best things in my life and finding it again when I no longer believe it’s that great.

I’ve also been looking around the internet, and I’ve seen some very nice colors. Maybe I’m just extremely late in the trend, but whatever.

The accessories I see suit the color skinnies very much is sport runners (think Converse) and

Hottest colors: pink, dark purple, black/white (heck, they’re not even technically colors), green and yellow.
Why: Pink, as in those dark pink. It says chic, but fun - not Barbie. Purple, just cool - you know? Black/whit; well black just gives you that punk/goth style (though not overdoing it enough to make it bad) that everyone seem to be in love with now, and white makes your legs look a million miles if it doesn’t. Green coz it’s green. Yellow, because it’s the color of the sun which we depend and appreciate (duh, man!).
What not to do: Wear baggy colored jeans. Please no! Straight cuts - OK. Baggy baggy jeans - not OK. The hottest style is probably skinny or if you’re not in the skinny jeans club, go for a straight cut that hangs onto the flesh well.
Something else that’s “WTF?”? Flare and color. Must I go into details as to how THAT would turn out?

This is a nice demo of what to do with color and no skinniness. Straight cuts that’s clings like the next clinging woman. I distaste the blue though, it does give me that eerie impression of fake town that I can’t truly justify just yet.

Awww.. Love it! However, as for the pink (this one is fine!) I was referring to earlier, it’s a BIT darker and dangerous than this shade. I love the green one to the right, and this must be the perfect sort of jeans to go with colors.

Nice, but just a bit too loose.

Very, it seems. Yes, you’ve seen it, no one hasn’t seen it. Love it or hate it, as with every trend in the world there has to be some breaking point, a margin that screams”Stop! You’re pushing it, really!”.

Well, some people must be really deaf, because if you walk about you’d see some people who overdo the low cut pants thing. Especially jeans. It was pretty cool, then some people decides they’d like to show their undies/g-strings to the world! And guys? A little bit of Bonds/Calvin Klein is sexy, but your entire ass need not be displayed for the world to observe.

And those are guys. So what’s with the tacky g-string baring fanclub? As I said, a little bit of your undies is sure hot, but not everything, please!

I do believe it was first seen on Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton further developed the trend but now if you are in one of those high profile, expensive-to-live-in cities where you look around and see like a gazillion posh people with their gazillion dollars, there’d bound to be one of those guys who are walking around with pants at their knees.

So if you’re going low, well don’t go too low and don’t wear g-string. There you go, my rant for the day

Well, for a Top Model winner anyways, because as much as the bitching happens - there’s not that much adventure after the show is over - even for the winner. Well, Alice Burdeu of Season 2 Australia’s Next Top Model begs to differ.

We all know how famous this Bankable Production show has been in regards to viewership but seriously, how many Kate Moss, Gemma Ward and Gisele Bündchen has been produced. Well, it doesn’t matter because that’s not the whole purpose of the reality show (besides for these model wannabes, anyways), right?

I’m a keen follower of both America’s Next Top Model and Australia’s Next Top Model, both have their unique, interesting native style of bitchiness in the show - and I’m pleased to see that the third season of the Australian version has picked up quite a winner here. I love Alice’s model attitude, look and style. She looks model at the top and model at the toes. What was funny is her very strong competition, which came down to dear Alice or young Stephenie.

Seriously, if this was Australia’s Next Top Bebe lipgloss spokesperson, I’d understand. Now, now - I don’t want to be hitting Stephanie any way, but seriously - Alice had the whole competition from the beginning till the very end. Perhaps that was the reason why all the bitching was targetted against her? Maybe that’s why they spent an episode’s or more worth of time throughout the whole show telling the camera how much she whinges? I mean, whining is annoying, but bitching about the whining is not the best thing ever.

Anyways, I’m glad Alice has succeed the much she has in New York and everywhere else she’s been. She’s also signed a contract with top model agency in the world, Elite which is very nice to see. I’m hoping to see more of Alice in the future, and I’m rooting for her. And you know what, screw all the negativity about your body - you’re thin but if you’re not being a dumb blonde to get the thinness, it doesn’t matter!

I’m not entirely sure if anyone else has noticed, but in these past few months, bows and the likes has been immensely popular in women’s clothing. This is a trend I largely appreciate. Why? Because blouses doing these bow things are sexy, classy, cute, mature but at the very same time “hint” cute which men seem to love. (I’ve no idea what’s with them but guys just want everything!).

What’s better, is that they are appropriate for every most occasion. It’s super cool if you’re catching up with your GFs over coffee, but also suitable if you’re those people who work (or a student on work exchange or something) at those uptight, bitchy offices where every one dresses as if they’ve just come out of, I don’t know, court.

However, there are limitations. As with most trends, it gets to a point where it gets done over too badly. That’s when the phrase OTT comes in. Yes.

So when does the good bow goes bad? How big is too big? Well, never really, as I’ve seen huge bows on blouses but still look very hot! What does irritate me is when women walk around with ginormous bows utop their neck, which makes the bow look like some sort of uncontrolled, wild flower overpowering and swallowing you up. So with that, if you must do a terabyte sized bow, be careful and to play safe - it’s best to allow the bow to start where your cleavage (or “bumps” if you’ve never quite gotten there) begins.

The good girl office shirt that’s sure to make ‘em green with envy! This is THE thing every woman should own.

The one where you can team with a pleated skirt and give the 1998 Ms Britney Spears a spin.

Yes, yes. A dress.

Ladies, be modest!

Black and bows, and they lived happily ever after!

White: another classic office shirt. Black: Office shirt + sex. Color: What. More. Must. I. SAY?

It’s official! As many of you would know, late ‘06 sparked a controversy within the fashion industry. It seems that at one of the large fashion depots of the world, Madrid, Spain, something big happened!

Skinny models were apparently banned from the catwalk. Now you’d ask - if skinny models weren’t allowed on the catwalk, whose going to walk the walk? Well, I don’t know, but that’s not important right now (because, well, the ban didn’t exactly start a trend to ban all skinny models on every catwalk, anyways). Besides, this is old news and I’m not here to report the current affair.

What has come to my attention is the irony of all this. So now, if you’re not skinny you’re fat. And if you’re not fat, you’re automatically skinny which means you’re unhealthy, hardly eating and puking out everything that you’ve just ate, which has been presumed to be not much at all (see last point!).

Am I the only person who sees this? The idea of perfect in body shape, weight and look can never be portrayed because there is no such thing. It can never exist! The perceived “ideal” girl look would soon be overturned by some other retard’s regard to what beautiful women should look like.

It’s like going to war for the sake of peace. It’s ironic and stupid. Because we all know that war, in the hope of peace, would create devastation and the price of peace then becomes too big at the expense of those whose lives are sacrificed in the process. And then people realize the whole war for peace thing is vain.

This whole banning of skinny models in the hope of saving teenagers and young, naive women to not eat and fuel their organs and cells with energy in the hopes of looking like these models can be compared in the same light. By banning these models, it creates a discrimination to another group of people. Those that look like skin and bone because they can’t look any other way! Like people who have issues with their body, some dangerously thin people are born like this!

I’m so sure because this is exactly the case with one of my close friend, so you know I’m not bullshitting. Okay, so she’s tried eating, good things and bad. Bad, I mean absolutely crap all day. Thankfully, this has stopped but her problems live on…, in the change room - I see her staring at my body and from her eyes, I know she wishes she has breasts and butts like I, and most other chicks do. It hurts me to see her crying from being hurt by these media tycoon who spits in everybody’s face that “skinny chicks are those who are so worthless, dumb and screwed up in their head, they dont eat to make themselves look like that.”

This is a stereotype, and places a negative label on those who can’t help the way they look. People are always complaining how they cannot lose any weight, no matter who hard they’ve tried. Sure, they get featured in “inspirational” section of the magazine, the “100% real life” part of Dolly or Cosmopolitan. They get sympathy and have the label “victim” written all over them. But ironically, at the same time, labelling these victims “victim” produces issues with people who become victim due to this whole victim thing.

So WTF? Banning people? Why, did they commit a crime? Did they do something so terrible, you must strip away their entitlement of human right to pursue that (wo)man’s full potential?

BTW, I reckon wars are just the leaders way of telling the the enemy he’s got a bigger dick.

Okay, so this is going pretty good, huh? We’ve not given up the idea after all this time so that must mean it’s going ACCORDING to plan. And that’s very good. Because from the 2 laziest people in the world, who are already loaded with school, friends, family and stress due to lack of social life, we’re really on track here!

So my new year resolution (bit late, yeah yeah.) is that we do not abandon the blog, no matter how little people read it, how lame it becomes, how bored we get of it, how random the idea turn out to become, etc etc. Because what’s the original goal of this blog? To create an archive of memories for the two authors. We will publish our thoughts and feelings here, and who knows - in five, ten years time, we’d look back on that many posts and reread those posts and remember what it feels like to be young and free. And if you’re part of the adventure with us - thank you.